1 Chop the ends off of your zucchini so they are about the same length. Use a wide vegetable peeler or a sharp knife to cut wide planks of the zucchini lengthwise. Think lasagna noodle for the shape and the thickness, but a little thinner is cool, too. You should get 7 or 8 from each, depending on the zucchini.
2 Now to assemble those mother ers. Lay a plank of zucchini down with a short end toward you. Add 1 TBL of the pesto dip to the one-third of the plank closest to you. Add a few matchsticks of the veggies and the onions on top of your dip, perpendicular to the plank, keeping them even with one side of the zucchini and letting all the extra hang out on the other damn side. Roll it up away from you and stick a toothpick through it to hold it together and make a nice handle for people to grab the er with. Keep going until you run out of dip, zucchini, or goddamn patience.
3 Serve them right away or let them chill in the fridge, covered, for up to 2 hours before serving.